RB Reflection: 3 June 2008

RB 7.44-48

The fifth step of humility is that a man does not conceal from his abbot any sinful thoughts entering his heart, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confesses them humbly. Concerning this, Scripture exhorts us: Make known your way to the Lord and hope in him (Ps 36[37]:5). And again, Confess to the Lord, for he is good; his mercy is forever (Ps 105[106]:1;Ps 177[118]:1). So too the Prophet: To you I have acknowledged my offense; my faults i have not concealed. I have said: Against myself I will report my faults to the Lord, and you have forgiving the wickedness of my heart (Ps. 31[32]:5).

Confession. It's good for the soul, they say. More than that, it is a Sacrament. The interest I find in this passage is how Benedict isn't speaking about confessing that we stole something, or smacked some other brother in the head (no matter how much we think he had it coming), but to confess sinful thoughts entering the heart. Sinful thoughts entering the heart?

In the fifth step of humility Benedict passes right over the theft, or the actual smacking of said brother/sister in the head, and goes to the moment we first conceived of the theft, or the smacking. To steal, you have to make a plan. To determine to smack someone in the head, you have to harbor anger in your heart. So instead of waiting until we have stolen or hit a brother/sister, we should root the sin out by confessing it when it enters our minds.

Wow. Most people would say that it isn't sin until you put it into practice. But as Lay Cistercians we are not most people; we are a people called by a charism, who are commanded by the Rule we claim to follow, to guard our thoughts. Again, Fr. Michael Cassagram's statement comes to mind. "The job of the monk is to stand at the door of the heart and watch thoughts as they arise: are they from God, or are they from the Evil One?"

As the Lay Encounter continues in Spain, and we read the daily reports, it might be tempting for one reason or another to find a seed of anger about how something was decided. Fine, so long as we let that seed pass right on by and not take root in our hearts. All the ancient mystics right up to the present day have in one voice said "Guard your minds, control your thoughts, don't entertain evil fantasies or make plans for revenge. Don't even let revenge enter your thoughts."

That is going to be harder for some of us than for others. I used to be/am a, person who reacted before thinking. That is my personal sin. I struggle with it still. Sometimes I am successful against it, other times it pops right out before I even have a chance to realize it's coming. Still, it is no excuse, and an even stronger reason for me to guard my thoughts.

Protect the mind, don't let the sun set on your anger, there is a string of pithy epithets I could use now to explain this point in nauseating detail, but I have a feeling you...yes, you, already know what secret and sinful thoughts you need to confess.

May the Lord bring us altogether to everlasting life.